if ifs and buts were candy and nuts (We’d all have a lovely christmas)

Vocals and orchestral arrangement: Michael Johnson
Orchestra: The Reclinerland Symphony Orchestra

Recorded between 2022 and 2023 at Reclinerland HQ in Paris, France. Mixed and mastered by Michael Johnson and Jarkko Heiniö.

In a cold December in 1903, songwriter and composer Abishag Fitzbolter stood by the window, staring at the snowflakes gently falling outside. She could feel the familiar knot of dread forming in her stomach as Christmas approached. For Abishag and her family, Christmas was not a time of joy and celebration. It was a time marked by fear and uncertainty, all thanks to her father, Martin Fitzbolter. Martin was an abusive alcoholic who terrorized the Fitzbolter family every Christmas. He would promise to show up and make it "the best Christmas ever," but his presence only brought chaos and fear. Abishag remembered the shattered ornaments, the broken furniture, and the tears that stained the holiday season. This year, Abishag had hoped for a different Christmas. She had moved out of her childhood home and built a new life for herself, far away from her father's reach. But as the holiday season approached, she couldn't shake off the memories of past Christmases. On Christmas Eve, as Abishag sat by the fireplace, a knock sounded at the door. Her heart skipped a beat as she hesitantly opened it, expecting the worst. But standing on her doorstep was not her father, but a neighbor holding a parcel. The neighbor explained that the parcel was left by a stranger who claimed it was for Abishag. Confused, Abishag opened the parcel to find a beautifully wrapped gift with a note attached. The note read, "To Abishag, may this Christmas be filled with peace and joy. From a friend who cares." Tears welled up in Abishag's eyes as she unwrapped the gift to reveal a hand-knitted scarf, the colors vibrant and warm. It was a simple gesture, but it held so much meaning for Abishag. It was a reminder that she was not alone, that there were people who cared for her. As she wrapped the scarf around her neck, Abishag felt a sense of warmth and comfort wash over her. She realized that Christmas didn't have to be a time of fear and dread. It could be a time of healing and hope, a time to create new memories and traditions. And so, as the snow continued to fall outside, Abishag penned “If Ifs And Buts…,” then sat by the fireplace with a smile on her face, grateful for the kindness of strangers and the promise of a new beginning.