Where are the tits?
What kind of bogus spring break is this? I haven't seen a single pair of tits! I mean, where are the stretching oceans of sand, the endless fountains of brew, the wriggling coeds, the TITS?? All I've done all spring break so far, being that I'm completely utterly mind shatteringly broke, is walk across town to the university (since my bike got stolen!). They're nice walks, don't get me wrong, and I've been listening to tons of hip hop music while I walk. I crossed the river to the Gray Album this morning, and yesterday afternoon I got creeped out by the gunshot scene in Who Shot Ya and had to skip ahead to Fuck The Police. I love rap! Anyway, the purpose of my walks to school is to practice my recital material. I guess I got a little neurotic after making my deparment head angry at my juries. Although his delivery was questionable, his point was right on. I have a focus problem. I'm trying to figure out why my mind wanders when I sit down at the piano. I think about everytits but what I'm playing. So as a result I make stupid little mistakes. The pieces are within my technical ability, so I should be able to play them, yet I continually play little wrong notes, forget where I am, etc. So, in an attempt to solve this problem, I bring a tape recorder and record myself play. It takes more focus to get through a recorded take than to just sit there and play a piece, plus you have a record of what you did. Then I listen to the takes and see where in the piece I continually mess up, and where in the piece I consistently play well. I make little highlighter blotches on the score where I screw up. Then I focus on the messed up parts. In analyzing my mistakes, I usually discover that the mistake I made was the result of my not paying attention, rather than any technical problem. There are a few places in the pieces which are actually physically difficult, however, so those I try to solve by slowing down, etc. But most of my problems, thankfully, occur as a result of not paying attention. One piece I'm doing is a jaunty, bouncy, full, firm little number...ugh! Tits again! So the question is, how to pay attention? Well, that's a hard question. I try singing along with the piece, I try staring at the keys, turning the lights off, cutting out the caffeine before I go practice. I tell you I've tried everything. The next step, I suppose, is to play the pieces in front of people as often as I can. This is daunting, because it means I have to beg my friends to sit through my whole recital program, like, three times a week. I'm not sure if that's practical. We'll only see in time if any of this pays off.
In other spring break news, I've been working on more pop songs. I've written the lyrics to two more songs for the IHML Vol. 2. One is a really fast song called No No This Will Never Do! It's about this blowhard right wing general who's having a dinner party. Before the action of the song, his guests get into a political discussion, and some liberal at the table says something that offends him, so the song is him kicking the glib liberal out of his house. It's going to be very fast and pattery. Try reading this stanza from the song as fast as you can and you'll get the idea:
I'm a decorated veteran
I met the Fates and bettered them
And won the bloody battle of Waterloo
Until you defend the fort
I will not mingle with your sort
No no this will never do!
Does anyone know when the battle of Waterloo was? Was it a Civil War battle, which I'm hoping, or was it a WWII battle? I can't remember. I suppose I'll have to look that up. Anyway, the other song I finished the lyric for was What Are The Chances? I don't have them with me, so I can't show them to you, but I decided the song would be about this shleppy poor guy who ends up being the object of this beautiful rich woman's affection. Well, they go to a ball and of course it creates an absolute scandal. Because she shows him her tits! No no, that's not why. It's because he's poor and she's this high society princess. The first stanza runs something like:
What were the chances
That this enchantress
Would answer my glances?
I'm just as poor as dirt
Still we flirt
And she says she loves me so
Cheezy, I know, but remember, it's an old song. At the end of the song, he says:
What were the chances?
How funny romance is!
I couldn't have planned this...
I thank Cupid it was me
She chanced to see
After he shot his bow.
I put the reference to Cupid in because I thought that might explain why this woman is interested in this guy. I thought it might lend a kind of supernatural quality to the song. Maybe she really did get shot by an arrow? By the way, can one "shoot a bow?" I mean, you draw a bow, and you shoot an arrow, but you don't shoot a bow. If I wrote instead for the last line "after he drew his bow" do you think that would be enough to imply that Cupid drew his bow and then shot an arrow? I'm hoping that both actions are implicit in the one action.
In addition to those two numbers I wrote a couple of songs for P&R. One is called God, Or Whoever's Up There. It's about pretty girls and all the mysterious, crazy things they're made of. This is all revealed in a story about a guy who has a crush on a girl, who's only dating him because she heard from her sister that he was a good kisser. Well, he falls for her of course, and she gives him the straight arm. All this takes place against a nice suburban backdrop, just like the rest of our next album will. The first stanza goes like this:
God, or whoever's up there gave the world
No better gift than a pretty girl
I know you'll find the one for you soon
The trouble is he wrapped her up in mysteries,
Enigmas that make Socrates
And his friends in ancient Greece look like buffoons.
She was mopping up at Huber's when you approached and sat down
Said she caught a little rumor floating all over town
Is it true that you went out one night with her sister and
That you're an excellent kisser, man?
Yes, she's talking to you.
So if that's a whole verse, the first part will elaborate on all of the confusing and mysterious things girls are made of, and the second part will elaborate with a narrative. Cool, huh? Not really, but I'm still working on it. I was inspired by the Magnetic Fields. And I'm not sure about that part about Socrates.
There are more, but I can see this post is getting long. Well, happy spring break, kids. Hope you're all fairing better than I am in the tits department. As for me, well, reading over this post, no wonder I'm not seeing any!
In other spring break news, I've been working on more pop songs. I've written the lyrics to two more songs for the IHML Vol. 2. One is a really fast song called No No This Will Never Do! It's about this blowhard right wing general who's having a dinner party. Before the action of the song, his guests get into a political discussion, and some liberal at the table says something that offends him, so the song is him kicking the glib liberal out of his house. It's going to be very fast and pattery. Try reading this stanza from the song as fast as you can and you'll get the idea:
I'm a decorated veteran
I met the Fates and bettered them
And won the bloody battle of Waterloo
Until you defend the fort
I will not mingle with your sort
No no this will never do!
Does anyone know when the battle of Waterloo was? Was it a Civil War battle, which I'm hoping, or was it a WWII battle? I can't remember. I suppose I'll have to look that up. Anyway, the other song I finished the lyric for was What Are The Chances? I don't have them with me, so I can't show them to you, but I decided the song would be about this shleppy poor guy who ends up being the object of this beautiful rich woman's affection. Well, they go to a ball and of course it creates an absolute scandal. Because she shows him her tits! No no, that's not why. It's because he's poor and she's this high society princess. The first stanza runs something like:
What were the chances
That this enchantress
Would answer my glances?
I'm just as poor as dirt
Still we flirt
And she says she loves me so
Cheezy, I know, but remember, it's an old song. At the end of the song, he says:
What were the chances?
How funny romance is!
I couldn't have planned this...
I thank Cupid it was me
She chanced to see
After he shot his bow.
I put the reference to Cupid in because I thought that might explain why this woman is interested in this guy. I thought it might lend a kind of supernatural quality to the song. Maybe she really did get shot by an arrow? By the way, can one "shoot a bow?" I mean, you draw a bow, and you shoot an arrow, but you don't shoot a bow. If I wrote instead for the last line "after he drew his bow" do you think that would be enough to imply that Cupid drew his bow and then shot an arrow? I'm hoping that both actions are implicit in the one action.
In addition to those two numbers I wrote a couple of songs for P&R. One is called God, Or Whoever's Up There. It's about pretty girls and all the mysterious, crazy things they're made of. This is all revealed in a story about a guy who has a crush on a girl, who's only dating him because she heard from her sister that he was a good kisser. Well, he falls for her of course, and she gives him the straight arm. All this takes place against a nice suburban backdrop, just like the rest of our next album will. The first stanza goes like this:
God, or whoever's up there gave the world
No better gift than a pretty girl
I know you'll find the one for you soon
The trouble is he wrapped her up in mysteries,
Enigmas that make Socrates
And his friends in ancient Greece look like buffoons.
She was mopping up at Huber's when you approached and sat down
Said she caught a little rumor floating all over town
Is it true that you went out one night with her sister and
That you're an excellent kisser, man?
Yes, she's talking to you.
So if that's a whole verse, the first part will elaborate on all of the confusing and mysterious things girls are made of, and the second part will elaborate with a narrative. Cool, huh? Not really, but I'm still working on it. I was inspired by the Magnetic Fields. And I'm not sure about that part about Socrates.
There are more, but I can see this post is getting long. Well, happy spring break, kids. Hope you're all fairing better than I am in the tits department. As for me, well, reading over this post, no wonder I'm not seeing any!